I might have been replaying A Love Like War from All Time Low ft. Vic Fuentes a bit too much. Ah well.
Anyway, I figured I might as well get back to bloggin while I felt like it, which is, honestly, not that much. Kinda busy lately. I'm in charge of two committees, working, dancing, studying (four heavy subjects, fml) and I have a personal life and a boyfriend I need to make time for, and seriously, I feel like I'm maturing so much more with so many responsibilities.
Isn't it scary, growing up? For me, it kinda started last year - I remarked, as a joke, to a couple of people how 'oh noes I was growing up' and the feeling kinda stuck. I'm a long way away from being actually mature and able to have others depend on me instead of the other way around (I was reading Cracked today, John Cheese mentioned this as a sign of adulthood in an article, I thought it was kinda true) but I'm getting there.
I'm starting to realize more and more what I'd like to do for a job, and I know I'm probably going to push and pull my way to the top. I have a hard time, lately, watching others go wrong when I think I know how to solve it easily and having people above me, in general. I tend to try and take the lead and I guess it's a good thing.
Soon, I will be out of university and into the actual real world, and after 16 years of education behind my belt already and another 2 to go, I'm kinda anxious for it to happen.
I'm not entirely sure if this makes much sense. I guess I feel like I'm maturing (different clothing style, more responsibility, more taking charge in my own life instead of letting it happen to me) and it's scary. I want to be an adult - just not yet. I'm not ready; although, is anyone really ready for this?
I just used a semi colon and I think I even used it correctly. It's time for me to sign off again and get some sleep.
And damn it if Somewhere in Neverland isn't playing in my head right now.
Say goodbye to the halls and the classes, say hello to a job and the taxes...
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Just a random post.
Today, All Time Low's new single was released. It's called A Love Like War, features Vic Fuentes from Pierce the Veil, and it's been on repeat over here.
Seriously, you cannot imagine how happy this makes me. Every time I think I'm starting to get over ATL, they release something new or do something that just makes me burst with fangirl glee again.
I tended to stick with my bands for about a year. After that, I'd know their music by heart, had listened to it so much it started to become background music, and finally I would find another band I'd love to death and the cycle would repeat itself.
Right now, though, I've been a fan for about three years.
First, I was starting to get over them and they released Dirty Work.
After that, they were going to give a concert in Amsterdam and I was totally going to go.
Next, Don't Panic. (Although I was obsessed in between the concert and Don't Panic. As in, every single thing I said would be All Time Low, everything I did was ATL, you know the works.)
Then, another concert.
And now, lastly, there's a new edition of Don't Panic coming out.
I love my band. I really do. There's a picture going around on Tumblr every once in a while, which says "If they (ATL) broke up, I wouldn't know what to do". That goes for me as well. They got me through so many things, have been a part of my life for so long by now.
I have a tattoo on my leg, which says Nothing Personal. It means three things to me, although I tend to just say the first one.
1. It's a warning to others to not take anything I say personally, because I have a tendency to not know when things may be hurtful or just plain bad and this is my little warning.
2. It's a reminder to myself, to not take everything so personally. I'm just one tiny speck of dust, why would everyone have it out for me?
3. ATL's third album, the first one I ever knew, is called Nothing Personal.
I would have never chosen this tattoo if reason 3 had been the only one, but for me, Nothing Personal is university. I learned so much, improved myself, and ATL was the one constant in my ever-changing life. The one thing I could always rely on.
I owe these guys so much more than just my life.
Seriously, you cannot imagine how happy this makes me. Every time I think I'm starting to get over ATL, they release something new or do something that just makes me burst with fangirl glee again.
I tended to stick with my bands for about a year. After that, I'd know their music by heart, had listened to it so much it started to become background music, and finally I would find another band I'd love to death and the cycle would repeat itself.
Right now, though, I've been a fan for about three years.
First, I was starting to get over them and they released Dirty Work.
After that, they were going to give a concert in Amsterdam and I was totally going to go.
Next, Don't Panic. (Although I was obsessed in between the concert and Don't Panic. As in, every single thing I said would be All Time Low, everything I did was ATL, you know the works.)
Then, another concert.
And now, lastly, there's a new edition of Don't Panic coming out.
I love my band. I really do. There's a picture going around on Tumblr every once in a while, which says "If they (ATL) broke up, I wouldn't know what to do". That goes for me as well. They got me through so many things, have been a part of my life for so long by now.
I have a tattoo on my leg, which says Nothing Personal. It means three things to me, although I tend to just say the first one.
1. It's a warning to others to not take anything I say personally, because I have a tendency to not know when things may be hurtful or just plain bad and this is my little warning.
2. It's a reminder to myself, to not take everything so personally. I'm just one tiny speck of dust, why would everyone have it out for me?
3. ATL's third album, the first one I ever knew, is called Nothing Personal.
I would have never chosen this tattoo if reason 3 had been the only one, but for me, Nothing Personal is university. I learned so much, improved myself, and ATL was the one constant in my ever-changing life. The one thing I could always rely on.
I owe these guys so much more than just my life.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Allow me to introduce you to Alex.
No, it's not the Alex I mentioned in a different post. This guy is actually named Alex. And strictly speaking, Alex does not exist.
That's right. He's not real.
Some background info would probably be appreciated here. I'm a writer, as I also mentioned before. I've had characters speaking to me in my head for quite some time now - the first was Maeve, an original character I roleplayed with a couple of years back. I've had multiple characters, original or from fandoms, in my head: Carolina (original), Mona (original), Ryan, Brendon and Spencer (Panic! at the Disco fandom), Kendall (Big Time Rush fandom), but most notably, there's Alex. With Alex comes Jack, but he's not as vocal.
Alex is originally the singer from All Time Low, called Alex Gaskarth. Jack is Jack Barakat, the guitar player from the same band. I ship them, which means I would like to see them in a relationship (but pretty much just in fan fiction, I'd much prefer them to be happy in RL than to make my weird fantasies come true). I started writing and reading ATL fan fiction about 1.5 years ago, I think, after a Creative Writing class on fan fiction. After that, I slowly but surely wrote more about them, and suddenly, Alex started speaking to me.
He would tell me what he thought of the current story and how he would like it to go. He'd tell me little things that later on turned into stories for themselves. One time, he found out what I had in store for him in a next chapter and decided to hide. (Until I managed to get him to stop doing that, I literally could not write the chapter.)
Eventually, it stopped being just the stories and started becoming more personal. When I felt bad, he would try to cheer me up a little. When I was in a writing mood, he'd feed me some ideas that I could write. When I was stuck, he would help me move forward.
Alex had been quiet for a while until last Saturday, when I was unexpectedly upset about something and was very mad at myself for being so upset.
He popped out and tried to make me feel better. He told me that if it was okay for him to feel those things, it was okay for me too. If I hurt, in whatever way, there would be more people that hurt. Feeling emotions isn't bad.
Stupid thing was, it actually worked.
Alex has made a little corner for himself somewhere on the edges of my concious mind again, and I don't mind it. It's nice having him there.
I realize all this makes me sound insane. As far as I'm concerned, though, Alex has helped me through some bad times and celebrated the good ones with me, and he can stay for as long as he likes.
If I'd been seriously mad, I probably would've been admitted to an asylum already, but Alex doesn't hurt anyone.
We're all mad here, right?
Nothing personal.
That's right. He's not real.
Some background info would probably be appreciated here. I'm a writer, as I also mentioned before. I've had characters speaking to me in my head for quite some time now - the first was Maeve, an original character I roleplayed with a couple of years back. I've had multiple characters, original or from fandoms, in my head: Carolina (original), Mona (original), Ryan, Brendon and Spencer (Panic! at the Disco fandom), Kendall (Big Time Rush fandom), but most notably, there's Alex. With Alex comes Jack, but he's not as vocal.
Alex is originally the singer from All Time Low, called Alex Gaskarth. Jack is Jack Barakat, the guitar player from the same band. I ship them, which means I would like to see them in a relationship (but pretty much just in fan fiction, I'd much prefer them to be happy in RL than to make my weird fantasies come true). I started writing and reading ATL fan fiction about 1.5 years ago, I think, after a Creative Writing class on fan fiction. After that, I slowly but surely wrote more about them, and suddenly, Alex started speaking to me.
He would tell me what he thought of the current story and how he would like it to go. He'd tell me little things that later on turned into stories for themselves. One time, he found out what I had in store for him in a next chapter and decided to hide. (Until I managed to get him to stop doing that, I literally could not write the chapter.)
Eventually, it stopped being just the stories and started becoming more personal. When I felt bad, he would try to cheer me up a little. When I was in a writing mood, he'd feed me some ideas that I could write. When I was stuck, he would help me move forward.
Alex had been quiet for a while until last Saturday, when I was unexpectedly upset about something and was very mad at myself for being so upset.
He popped out and tried to make me feel better. He told me that if it was okay for him to feel those things, it was okay for me too. If I hurt, in whatever way, there would be more people that hurt. Feeling emotions isn't bad.
Stupid thing was, it actually worked.
Alex has made a little corner for himself somewhere on the edges of my concious mind again, and I don't mind it. It's nice having him there.
I realize all this makes me sound insane. As far as I'm concerned, though, Alex has helped me through some bad times and celebrated the good ones with me, and he can stay for as long as he likes.
If I'd been seriously mad, I probably would've been admitted to an asylum already, but Alex doesn't hurt anyone.
We're all mad here, right?
Nothing personal.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Holiday times!
Wel, they're pretty much over. Sadly. However, much has happened. I guess :P
We lived with three people in my tiny room for about two months. Sir was gonna live with me for the holidays, that much I knew already (and was really looking forward to!) but then it turned out a friend of his was basically homeless for the summer and he kinda moved in as well. It was fun, don't get me wrong, but it did mean the summer months have taken a diffeent turn than expected. Sir had promised more D/s and we just never got around to it. It's kind of annoying when, before you can do anything that's even slightly private, you have to ask someone to go to a different place first. Ah well.
I started playing Borderlands 2, though, because said friend had it on his computer. I'd already started earlier, but now I continued, and I have a level 21 Siren :D Shame I won't be able to play her much anymore, though, but as soon as I get a laptop that I can use for gaming I will get Borderlands and play it some more. Also thinking about trying Portal - I've heard a lot about it, watched some RageGamingVideos vids on it and it looks really cool. Can't wait to have a good laptop, either :P
What else, what else.
We, from Creative Writing Workshop, hosted a contest during the Introduction of university where people had to write down their most memorable moment on the back of a beer coaster. We had so many great entries and deciding between first and second place was especially hard! We needed all four of us to figure out who won, haha. It all worked out great and I was psyched afterwards. I usually am, after something we organized turns out great. I think I may know what I would like to do later, for a job :)
I moved into a new room yesterday and there's still a bunch of unpacking to do but most of the work has been done. It's bigger than my old one (and doesn't that just figure, the moment the two guys move out I get more space) and a lot closer to the centre so I'm happy. :D
I watched some series, too - Sir has been watching Total Drama Island (and the rest of its seasons) and I watched some with him, me and the other guy watched almost all of Sword Art Online and started on Adventure Time, and I watched Spring Breakers, which was a really good movie. Also, lots of RageGamingVideos, Generation Hollow, and PewDiePie. It's especially fun watching the latter play horror. I don't think I'd want to play Amnesia myself (besides being a scaredy cat, the game itself doesn't seem that interesting to me) but it's fun watching PewDie fall out of his chair :P
If you're looking for good gaming videos, try either Rage or Hollow. Rage tends to focus on Portal 2, Minecraft, and used to do a lot of Cubeworld, and Hollow has Minecraft, indie games and also used to do Cubeworld, and they're awesome. Rage makes all of the bad puns and Hollow seems to be a lot like me, and together they have the best dynamic. I ship it. :P
Anyway, that's it for now, I'm gonna chillax some more and enjoy the silence.
(It's too damn quiet! xD )
We lived with three people in my tiny room for about two months. Sir was gonna live with me for the holidays, that much I knew already (and was really looking forward to!) but then it turned out a friend of his was basically homeless for the summer and he kinda moved in as well. It was fun, don't get me wrong, but it did mean the summer months have taken a diffeent turn than expected. Sir had promised more D/s and we just never got around to it. It's kind of annoying when, before you can do anything that's even slightly private, you have to ask someone to go to a different place first. Ah well.
I started playing Borderlands 2, though, because said friend had it on his computer. I'd already started earlier, but now I continued, and I have a level 21 Siren :D Shame I won't be able to play her much anymore, though, but as soon as I get a laptop that I can use for gaming I will get Borderlands and play it some more. Also thinking about trying Portal - I've heard a lot about it, watched some RageGamingVideos vids on it and it looks really cool. Can't wait to have a good laptop, either :P
What else, what else.
We, from Creative Writing Workshop, hosted a contest during the Introduction of university where people had to write down their most memorable moment on the back of a beer coaster. We had so many great entries and deciding between first and second place was especially hard! We needed all four of us to figure out who won, haha. It all worked out great and I was psyched afterwards. I usually am, after something we organized turns out great. I think I may know what I would like to do later, for a job :)
I moved into a new room yesterday and there's still a bunch of unpacking to do but most of the work has been done. It's bigger than my old one (and doesn't that just figure, the moment the two guys move out I get more space) and a lot closer to the centre so I'm happy. :D
I watched some series, too - Sir has been watching Total Drama Island (and the rest of its seasons) and I watched some with him, me and the other guy watched almost all of Sword Art Online and started on Adventure Time, and I watched Spring Breakers, which was a really good movie. Also, lots of RageGamingVideos, Generation Hollow, and PewDiePie. It's especially fun watching the latter play horror. I don't think I'd want to play Amnesia myself (besides being a scaredy cat, the game itself doesn't seem that interesting to me) but it's fun watching PewDie fall out of his chair :P
If you're looking for good gaming videos, try either Rage or Hollow. Rage tends to focus on Portal 2, Minecraft, and used to do a lot of Cubeworld, and Hollow has Minecraft, indie games and also used to do Cubeworld, and they're awesome. Rage makes all of the bad puns and Hollow seems to be a lot like me, and together they have the best dynamic. I ship it. :P
Anyway, that's it for now, I'm gonna chillax some more and enjoy the silence.
(It's too damn quiet! xD )
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Wow. What a day.
Yesterday, I went to see All Time Low in concert. I already mentioned it in a previous post (the post before this? Can't remember and I'm too lazy to look it up.) Anyway, yesterday turned from what I thought would be pretty cool to probably one of the best days of my life.
First thing was, I had to go alone. I'd tried asking around, but no one wanted to go with me. I was sulking a little around Den Bosch, being a little bummed about this, when suddenly someone bounces up to me.
'Omg, your tattoo says Nothing Personal, is that ATL related, are you also going?'
I pointed at my ATL shirt and said yes. The girl had a large group with her, we chatted a little, and after five minutes we had decided I would join them for the evening.
Hurray! People to talk to and have fun with! :D
I had proven quickly enough that I was gonna be fun to hang around with when one of the guys said, in regards to my collar, that his dog had the same one, and I replied his dog must have a lot of style then.
Anyway, we were in the train to Tilburg, arrived, and had to find 013. This was a little harder than it looked, but we managed. Cue waiting for about 45 minutes until the venue opened, but that was okay. We talked some more, played some ATL on someone's phone, a band was handing out free CDs, it was all good.
Suddenly, everyone starts rushing towards the door. We scramble up, make a beeline for it, only to be jammed together in the mad crush of fangirls. Ugh. Whatever happened to neat lines? We did manage to get a little closer to the door than we originally were in the line, so that was good.
After a while, we finally got in. The venue was still pretty much empty, so we found good spots (equivalent to second row, to the left of the stage, where Jack usually plays) and waited.
Seriously, concerts are about 75% waiting, 25% listening to music.
The opening act (Colussa) wasn't bad. It's not something I'm gonna look up, but it was passable. ATL was scheduled to start at 9, but naturally, being the awesome band that they are, they started at 8.50pm and continued until 10.10pm (scheduled until 10.15). They started out as always, with Lost in Stereo, Damned and Stella, which was cool. I like all of those songs and Lost in Stereo is just a great song to start with. Coffee Shop Soundtrack (my personal favourite) was also played in the beginning, which made me very happy. I love them.
They played most, if not all of my favourites (well, I missed Paint You Wings but they did play Outlines, and then I had hearts in my eyes) and they were on a roll with banter. I'm even more convinced Jalex exists now. (Especially when Jack was on his knees in front of Alex, playing the guitar. Yay!)
You'd think the story was over here, didn't you? Concert was nice, I met a bunch of people, that's about it, right?
Wrong :D
I had to be in Eindhoven at 00.06, because I had to get the last bus. Lo and behold, I missed that. By a long shot. We took a wrong turn somewhere walking back from 013 to Central and we were really fucking late.
Originally, the idea was that I would go to Eindhoven anyway, get a cab and see how much it would set me back. After long deliberation, the group convinced me to go with them to Den Bosch and see what I could do from there - if all failed, I could come with them and they would take care of me.
We go to Den Bosch, walk towards the bus that had to get us to Oss, and this is where the absolute best part happens.
The bus driver hears that we all missed our busses and would have to walk a long way. He asked where we had to go. (I told him my original destination). He offered to drive us there. Seriously. There was no one else in the bus, so he could leave for those places immediately. First, he dropped off the group, and it turned out that he was due for a break because he was legally not allowed to drive any further before taking a 45 minute break. Well. So we all head inside, all get an energy drink (even the bus driver), share more stories and have fun in general.
After those 45 minutes (and a couple more pictures) the bus driver and me left, and the bus driver dropped me off at the house I was supposed to be.
I cannot believe how everything worked out last night. It went from 'this will probably be fun' to 'omfg this is awesome' to 'why can't I go home anymore whyyyyyy' to 'the best night of my life'.
Today, I'm a little bit in love with everyone thanks to yesterday.
Of course, I have to work tonight, that'll put a stop to that quickly enough, but it's fun while it lasts. :)
<3
First thing was, I had to go alone. I'd tried asking around, but no one wanted to go with me. I was sulking a little around Den Bosch, being a little bummed about this, when suddenly someone bounces up to me.
'Omg, your tattoo says Nothing Personal, is that ATL related, are you also going?'
I pointed at my ATL shirt and said yes. The girl had a large group with her, we chatted a little, and after five minutes we had decided I would join them for the evening.
Hurray! People to talk to and have fun with! :D
I had proven quickly enough that I was gonna be fun to hang around with when one of the guys said, in regards to my collar, that his dog had the same one, and I replied his dog must have a lot of style then.
Anyway, we were in the train to Tilburg, arrived, and had to find 013. This was a little harder than it looked, but we managed. Cue waiting for about 45 minutes until the venue opened, but that was okay. We talked some more, played some ATL on someone's phone, a band was handing out free CDs, it was all good.
Suddenly, everyone starts rushing towards the door. We scramble up, make a beeline for it, only to be jammed together in the mad crush of fangirls. Ugh. Whatever happened to neat lines? We did manage to get a little closer to the door than we originally were in the line, so that was good.
After a while, we finally got in. The venue was still pretty much empty, so we found good spots (equivalent to second row, to the left of the stage, where Jack usually plays) and waited.
Seriously, concerts are about 75% waiting, 25% listening to music.
The opening act (Colussa) wasn't bad. It's not something I'm gonna look up, but it was passable. ATL was scheduled to start at 9, but naturally, being the awesome band that they are, they started at 8.50pm and continued until 10.10pm (scheduled until 10.15). They started out as always, with Lost in Stereo, Damned and Stella, which was cool. I like all of those songs and Lost in Stereo is just a great song to start with. Coffee Shop Soundtrack (my personal favourite) was also played in the beginning, which made me very happy. I love them.
They played most, if not all of my favourites (well, I missed Paint You Wings but they did play Outlines, and then I had hearts in my eyes) and they were on a roll with banter. I'm even more convinced Jalex exists now. (Especially when Jack was on his knees in front of Alex, playing the guitar. Yay!)
You'd think the story was over here, didn't you? Concert was nice, I met a bunch of people, that's about it, right?
Wrong :D
I had to be in Eindhoven at 00.06, because I had to get the last bus. Lo and behold, I missed that. By a long shot. We took a wrong turn somewhere walking back from 013 to Central and we were really fucking late.
Originally, the idea was that I would go to Eindhoven anyway, get a cab and see how much it would set me back. After long deliberation, the group convinced me to go with them to Den Bosch and see what I could do from there - if all failed, I could come with them and they would take care of me.
We go to Den Bosch, walk towards the bus that had to get us to Oss, and this is where the absolute best part happens.
The bus driver hears that we all missed our busses and would have to walk a long way. He asked where we had to go. (I told him my original destination). He offered to drive us there. Seriously. There was no one else in the bus, so he could leave for those places immediately. First, he dropped off the group, and it turned out that he was due for a break because he was legally not allowed to drive any further before taking a 45 minute break. Well. So we all head inside, all get an energy drink (even the bus driver), share more stories and have fun in general.
After those 45 minutes (and a couple more pictures) the bus driver and me left, and the bus driver dropped me off at the house I was supposed to be.
I cannot believe how everything worked out last night. It went from 'this will probably be fun' to 'omfg this is awesome' to 'why can't I go home anymore whyyyyyy' to 'the best night of my life'.
Today, I'm a little bit in love with everyone thanks to yesterday.
Of course, I have to work tonight, that'll put a stop to that quickly enough, but it's fun while it lasts. :)
<3
Thursday, July 4, 2013
I'm confused.
It's time for a serious post again, I think. :P
I have rather recently come to the conclusion that I might well be poly. This means, to me, that I'm capable of loving more than one person at a time and would like an open relationship, but this is not as essential to me as being submissive. Not being able to be submissive would be a dealbreaker for me in a relationship, because it helps me function. Not having an open relationship is fine with me (unless there's a bunch of jealousy, because face it, I crush a lot on famous people anyway. Kellin Quinn, anyone?)
Rationally, I know being poly is fine as long as you talk about it. I talked to Sir about it, kept him updated throughout my process of accepting, and eventually everything was talked out and it was all cool.
But then why can't I accept this myself?
I accepted I was bi years ago. I knew I was submissive, fully accepting it took a couple of years and some stories, but it worked out in the end. Why is this so hard?
Maybe I'm overthinking it, or overtalking. The guy who made me realise I'm poly knows about this, and we talked about it as well. I had plenty of discussions with other people about it, everyone thinks it's fine. Why can't I realize this for myself?
It probably needs to stew a little. I wrote stories about it, they helped a lot, but I might need to do more writing. Getting away from university and the guy in question (oh, fuck it, let's call him Alex for easier referring) will most likely help as well.
I can accept myself. I can be a good example of a well-adjusted, happy person who just happens to have different sexualities than most people. I just need some time to accept this latest part of myself.
I have rather recently come to the conclusion that I might well be poly. This means, to me, that I'm capable of loving more than one person at a time and would like an open relationship, but this is not as essential to me as being submissive. Not being able to be submissive would be a dealbreaker for me in a relationship, because it helps me function. Not having an open relationship is fine with me (unless there's a bunch of jealousy, because face it, I crush a lot on famous people anyway. Kellin Quinn, anyone?)
Rationally, I know being poly is fine as long as you talk about it. I talked to Sir about it, kept him updated throughout my process of accepting, and eventually everything was talked out and it was all cool.
But then why can't I accept this myself?
I accepted I was bi years ago. I knew I was submissive, fully accepting it took a couple of years and some stories, but it worked out in the end. Why is this so hard?
Maybe I'm overthinking it, or overtalking. The guy who made me realise I'm poly knows about this, and we talked about it as well. I had plenty of discussions with other people about it, everyone thinks it's fine. Why can't I realize this for myself?
It probably needs to stew a little. I wrote stories about it, they helped a lot, but I might need to do more writing. Getting away from university and the guy in question (oh, fuck it, let's call him Alex for easier referring) will most likely help as well.
I can accept myself. I can be a good example of a well-adjusted, happy person who just happens to have different sexualities than most people. I just need some time to accept this latest part of myself.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Me, a fangirl? Never!
In two days, I will see my favourite band again. They'll be giving a concert in 013, Tilburg, and I am omfg so excited. It's not the first time I've seen them live (that was last August, in Melkweg, Amsterdam) but it's still going to be awesome.
Now, if it were just that, me being excited for a concert, I wouldn't have anything to post about, would I?
Last year around this time, I became pretty much obsessed with ATL. Listened to them all day, wrote fan fiction about them, every second word out of my mouth was ATL related... It was pretty terrible. I'm glad I snapped out of that, although I can't remember at all how it happened.
I have a tendency to obsess. It's not very healthy. I need to get myself checked out sometime :P
Even now, without the obsession (for any band, really, even Kellin Quinn is merely a crush) I'm still a huge fan. I know almost all of their songs by heart, I know their full names, I know most of Alex's history, when he dyed his hair pink I followed quickly after, I've got the name of their third album tattood on my leg (Nothing Personal, and it does have another meaning besides that, don't worry), their poster hangs above my bed...
There's plenty more but sometimes I do know when to shut up.
Long story short, I'm not a fangirl. Not at all. What makes you think so? I'm also not very sarcastic.
I love my bands, they've gotten me through some rough times (especially ATL - last time I was depressed they helped me through the day) and I owe them my life.
Maybe it's unhealthy, but as long as I'm still here to debate that statement, at least it's doing something good.
Two more days! :D
Now, if it were just that, me being excited for a concert, I wouldn't have anything to post about, would I?
Last year around this time, I became pretty much obsessed with ATL. Listened to them all day, wrote fan fiction about them, every second word out of my mouth was ATL related... It was pretty terrible. I'm glad I snapped out of that, although I can't remember at all how it happened.
I have a tendency to obsess. It's not very healthy. I need to get myself checked out sometime :P
Even now, without the obsession (for any band, really, even Kellin Quinn is merely a crush) I'm still a huge fan. I know almost all of their songs by heart, I know their full names, I know most of Alex's history, when he dyed his hair pink I followed quickly after, I've got the name of their third album tattood on my leg (Nothing Personal, and it does have another meaning besides that, don't worry), their poster hangs above my bed...
There's plenty more but sometimes I do know when to shut up.
Long story short, I'm not a fangirl. Not at all. What makes you think so? I'm also not very sarcastic.
I love my bands, they've gotten me through some rough times (especially ATL - last time I was depressed they helped me through the day) and I owe them my life.
Maybe it's unhealthy, but as long as I'm still here to debate that statement, at least it's doing something good.
Two more days! :D
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Life, the Universe, and Everything
I know the answer to that is 42. I study English, I have read my fair share of books. :P
I don't just read, I also write. Not just blogs, but mostly fan fiction, poems, and every once in a while I'll try my hand at a script. I'm a head of the Creative Writing Workshop at our department and enjoying teaching people something about creative writing very much.
Why I decided to write about this today, you ask? I'm currently trying to adapt The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I saw it last weekend while I was combing the dreadlocks out of a friend of mine's hair (who also happens to be a head of CWW) and I fell in love. Should've watched it ages ago, which I knew already, but meh. I'm way behind with most things anyway.
Anyway, my department also has their own drama club, called the Understudies. The friend I mentioned last paragraph has been asking me to join, I told him I'd audition if they were to perform that (I'd love to play Columbia, would like Janet if I could actually sing and act), got shot down by the current assistant director because we'd only have one set to work with, and I took it as the challenge it was and will rewrite Rocky Horror now.
Let's see how that works out.
For the rest, I've still got so many stories I should finish that I'll be busy over the summer working on both academic works (besides thesis and Digital Art and Culture, I want to try and write at least one article to see if I could possibly publish something someday) and fictional works (I swear I will never write porn about two friends of mine again... until the next time I've got inspiration :P ).
I swear I was going to write something inspiring today. Ah well. I'll go back to rewriting Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Oh, at the late night, double-feature, picture show...
I don't just read, I also write. Not just blogs, but mostly fan fiction, poems, and every once in a while I'll try my hand at a script. I'm a head of the Creative Writing Workshop at our department and enjoying teaching people something about creative writing very much.
Why I decided to write about this today, you ask? I'm currently trying to adapt The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I saw it last weekend while I was combing the dreadlocks out of a friend of mine's hair (who also happens to be a head of CWW) and I fell in love. Should've watched it ages ago, which I knew already, but meh. I'm way behind with most things anyway.
Anyway, my department also has their own drama club, called the Understudies. The friend I mentioned last paragraph has been asking me to join, I told him I'd audition if they were to perform that (I'd love to play Columbia, would like Janet if I could actually sing and act), got shot down by the current assistant director because we'd only have one set to work with, and I took it as the challenge it was and will rewrite Rocky Horror now.
Let's see how that works out.
For the rest, I've still got so many stories I should finish that I'll be busy over the summer working on both academic works (besides thesis and Digital Art and Culture, I want to try and write at least one article to see if I could possibly publish something someday) and fictional works (I swear I will never write porn about two friends of mine again... until the next time I've got inspiration :P ).
I swear I was going to write something inspiring today. Ah well. I'll go back to rewriting Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Oh, at the late night, double-feature, picture show...
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
If anyone saw my motivation, please ship it back to me.
I've been at university for four hours, trying to get stuff done, and I'm failing hard.
First, there was socializing to do. Friends I hadn't seen in weeks, people I hadn't met sitting with those friends, you know the deal. It's scary but I'm getting better at it.
Then, I spent about two hours reading a Livejournal community, reading a couple of fan fictions, occasionally opening the book I really should be reading (Textual Poachers by Henry Jenkins, if anyone's interested), looking up what DOMA actually is and what Wendy Davis did, figuring out what subjects I want to take next year to improve my background knowledge of America, and now I'm writing a blog.
I really want to read this book and write my essays/thesis, I just can't get myself to actually do it. It sucks.
On the other hand, I am listening to Kellin Quinn now and that's entertaining.
Okay, so I might be a bit of a Kellin Quinn fangirl right now. He's from the band Sleeping With Sirens, I am still amazed he's not a girl, but he's so fucking hot.
(I just spent ten minutes finding that picture and surfing on Tumblr. See?)
Anyway, my personal theory is that Kellin is a Dominant, and Vic Fuentes from Pierce the Veil is a submissive, and they would be really good if they did it together. Although I find it a bit creepy to ship them outright because Kellin's married and has a daughter, so I do it in secret.
Whoops. Guess I spilled my secret. :P
Gifs like that make my little shippy heart very happy.
Seriously. I've been looking at it for a couple of minutes now.
If you want to see more pretty Kellin, I'd suggest you look up the video for King of a Day, which is from Pierce the Veil ft. Kellin, and it has him in a suit (every boy is pretty in a suit) and being pretty in general.
Enough from me, I really gotta go read some Henry Jenkins. Bye y'all.
First, there was socializing to do. Friends I hadn't seen in weeks, people I hadn't met sitting with those friends, you know the deal. It's scary but I'm getting better at it.
Then, I spent about two hours reading a Livejournal community, reading a couple of fan fictions, occasionally opening the book I really should be reading (Textual Poachers by Henry Jenkins, if anyone's interested), looking up what DOMA actually is and what Wendy Davis did, figuring out what subjects I want to take next year to improve my background knowledge of America, and now I'm writing a blog.
I really want to read this book and write my essays/thesis, I just can't get myself to actually do it. It sucks.
On the other hand, I am listening to Kellin Quinn now and that's entertaining.
Okay, so I might be a bit of a Kellin Quinn fangirl right now. He's from the band Sleeping With Sirens, I am still amazed he's not a girl, but he's so fucking hot.
(I just spent ten minutes finding that picture and surfing on Tumblr. See?)
Anyway, my personal theory is that Kellin is a Dominant, and Vic Fuentes from Pierce the Veil is a submissive, and they would be really good if they did it together. Although I find it a bit creepy to ship them outright because Kellin's married and has a daughter, so I do it in secret.
Whoops. Guess I spilled my secret. :P
Gifs like that make my little shippy heart very happy.
Seriously. I've been looking at it for a couple of minutes now.
If you want to see more pretty Kellin, I'd suggest you look up the video for King of a Day, which is from Pierce the Veil ft. Kellin, and it has him in a suit (every boy is pretty in a suit) and being pretty in general.
Enough from me, I really gotta go read some Henry Jenkins. Bye y'all.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
I have a rule.
Okay, I have more than one, but this is the one that made me think I wanted to post something.
I'm supposed to have had breakfast before 2, and let Sir know when I've had it. (I'll just go with Sir for my blog. He's my boyfriend but let's keep the names to a minimum.)
It may sound like a strange rule, but I tended to have breakfast around dinner time - I'd honestly just forget to eat - and apparently it's not good for you if you do that. Apparently, eating dinner/breakfast and topping up the calories you're supposed to eat all day with munchies and a bag of crisps later on is not the proper way to eat. :P
Today is the first day in a couple of weeks that I didn't follow the rule - I told Sir about it, he said it was okay, but still. It's kinda messing with my head. On the one hand, I know it's okay, but on the other, it's still not following the rule, y'know?
The strangest part of this, to me, is how quickly it took. It's only been a couple of weeks. I spent years trying to get brushing my teeth in my daily routine and within a few weeks breakfast is a part of it. Maybe it's because I want to take good care of myself for him? I don't know. Somehow, being ordered to do something is less infuriating and more effective in making me take care of myself. Which is necessary anyway, because for how good I can be with organizing things for other people, organizing my own life and making sure I'm fine is something that is beyond me.
If it works, it works, right?
Still can't believe I need someone to tell me how to get through a day like a normal person would, or to finish my study instead of curl up in a corner and cry at the first sign of stress, but at least I have that person.
Maybe this wasn't such a good first real post anyway, but I've got it all typed up now. There's gonna be more about my way of living - while I'm happy with it, it still boggles my mind sometimes - but let's leave it here for now.
I need to have breakfast. :P
I'm supposed to have had breakfast before 2, and let Sir know when I've had it. (I'll just go with Sir for my blog. He's my boyfriend but let's keep the names to a minimum.)
It may sound like a strange rule, but I tended to have breakfast around dinner time - I'd honestly just forget to eat - and apparently it's not good for you if you do that. Apparently, eating dinner/breakfast and topping up the calories you're supposed to eat all day with munchies and a bag of crisps later on is not the proper way to eat. :P
Today is the first day in a couple of weeks that I didn't follow the rule - I told Sir about it, he said it was okay, but still. It's kinda messing with my head. On the one hand, I know it's okay, but on the other, it's still not following the rule, y'know?
The strangest part of this, to me, is how quickly it took. It's only been a couple of weeks. I spent years trying to get brushing my teeth in my daily routine and within a few weeks breakfast is a part of it. Maybe it's because I want to take good care of myself for him? I don't know. Somehow, being ordered to do something is less infuriating and more effective in making me take care of myself. Which is necessary anyway, because for how good I can be with organizing things for other people, organizing my own life and making sure I'm fine is something that is beyond me.
If it works, it works, right?
Still can't believe I need someone to tell me how to get through a day like a normal person would, or to finish my study instead of curl up in a corner and cry at the first sign of stress, but at least I have that person.
Maybe this wasn't such a good first real post anyway, but I've got it all typed up now. There's gonna be more about my way of living - while I'm happy with it, it still boggles my mind sometimes - but let's leave it here for now.
I need to have breakfast. :P
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Obligatory introduction post
Hi, I'm Irene, or Meova as I still like to be called on the internet. Right now, I study English (focusing on American culture) in the Netherlands and I work in a fast food joint, of which you will undoubtedly hear stories here.
My life is not particularly interesting, but I do have things I want to say. I'm aiming to get a PhD someday so I can study gender roles, adolescent culture and participatory culture. I'm a major fangirl and I love my bands to death (mostly All Time Low, Panic! at the Disco, some Fall Out Boy and lately there's Sleeping With Sirens). One of my goals in life is showing people that even when one does not fit the norm, someone can still be normal/functional - I'm bisexual, submissive, trying to figure out how much the label poly applies to me,
and I like watching teen shows and reading Young Adult novels. I'd say I'm perfectly normal but that's not really the case :P
Then again, no one who studies the same thing I do at my university is completely sane, so we're all in the same boat.
I'll just see what comes of this. Sometimes I need a space to vent or to speak my mind. I hope this can be that place.
My life is not particularly interesting, but I do have things I want to say. I'm aiming to get a PhD someday so I can study gender roles, adolescent culture and participatory culture. I'm a major fangirl and I love my bands to death (mostly All Time Low, Panic! at the Disco, some Fall Out Boy and lately there's Sleeping With Sirens). One of my goals in life is showing people that even when one does not fit the norm, someone can still be normal/functional - I'm bisexual, submissive, trying to figure out how much the label poly applies to me,
and I like watching teen shows and reading Young Adult novels. I'd say I'm perfectly normal but that's not really the case :P
Then again, no one who studies the same thing I do at my university is completely sane, so we're all in the same boat.
I'll just see what comes of this. Sometimes I need a space to vent or to speak my mind. I hope this can be that place.
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