I'm confused.

It's time for a serious post again, I think. :P

I have rather recently come to the conclusion that I might well be poly. This means, to me, that I'm capable of loving more than one person at a time and would like an open relationship, but this is not as essential to me as being submissive. Not being able to be submissive would be a dealbreaker for me in a relationship, because it helps me function. Not having an open relationship is fine with me (unless there's a bunch of jealousy, because face it, I crush a lot on famous people anyway. Kellin Quinn, anyone?)

Rationally, I know being poly is fine as long as you talk about it. I talked to Sir about it, kept him updated throughout my process of accepting, and eventually everything was talked out and it was all cool.

But then why can't I accept this myself?

I accepted I was bi years ago. I knew I was submissive, fully accepting it took a couple of years and some stories, but it worked out in the end. Why is this so hard?

Maybe I'm overthinking it, or overtalking. The guy who made me realise I'm poly knows about this, and we talked about it as well.  I had plenty of discussions with other people about it, everyone thinks it's fine. Why can't I realize this for myself?

It probably needs to stew a little. I wrote stories about it, they helped a lot, but I might need to do more writing. Getting away from university and the guy in question (oh, fuck it, let's call him Alex for easier referring) will most likely help as well.

I can accept myself. I can be a good example of a well-adjusted, happy person who just happens to have different sexualities than most people. I just need some time to accept this latest part of myself.